Because of the bridge, there is a limit to the size of cruise ship that can come into Baltimore. I thought that might make for the fairest possible comparison between two ships across different lines. Please keep in mind that while I have attempted to be as comprehensive and unbiased as possible, this is from my perspective. As a result, some items (e.g. youth program) I reviewed may have no relevance to you while other items (all-inclusive drink package) I didn't review at all may be extremely important to you.
Many times where I say "on the Pride/Grandeur", the statement is true across the entire Carnival/Royal line but I have stuck with this usage specifically because I do not know enough to know which is specific just to the ship and which isn't.
About Me: I am in my early 40's and cruise with my wife and two daughters (ages 10 and 12). I primarily cruise Carnival because of the cost to value factor but we have no brand loyalty and all three cruises booked in 2018 are on 3 different lines (Carnival, Royal Caribbean, Norwegian). Besides cost, I choose cruises based on itineraries as I like to go to at least one new place each time I cruise which is hard to do without also leaving from new ports each time.
Ship Factoids

Completed: Pride = 2001, Grandeur = 1996
Last Upgraded: Pride = 2014, Grandeur = 2017
State rooms: Pride = 1062, Grandeur = 1142
Passengers: Pride = 2124, Grandeur = 2446

Cruise Cost
I'm a deal hunter and, in both cases, the cruise was booked at least 9 months in advance and the price was monitored daily for price drops. The prices below are per person per day keeping in mind a family of 4 sharing a single interior cabin.

Cruise Fare Including Taxes/Fees: Pride = $58.54, Grandeur = $66.13
Daily Gratuities: Pride = $12.95, Grandeur = $14.50
Add-on Gratuity: Pride = 15%, Grandeur = 18%

I will cover the cost of specific items like room service separately. The add-on gratuity is here because I didn't really have anywhere else to fit it but if you order a drink at a show or eat in the specialty dining, this reflects what will be tacked on to the bill automatically on the respective ships.
The $9.14 a day difference may not seem like much but for a family of 4 over a week adds up to $255.92
Cabin Size/Amenities
An interior cabin for 4 passengers was compared. The Carnival Pride is a slightly larger ship but has fewer cabins and can accommodate fewer passengers. This was very apparent in the size of the cabin as it seemed luxuriously spacious in comparison to the Grandeur. The Pride has a mini-fridge where as the Grandeur does not. The Grandeur has a flat screen TV on an adjustable wall mount while the Pride still has a big old CRT TV. You can find the average square footage by searching online but I don't think it will really help to appreciate just how tiny the Grandeur rooms were in comparison.
Internet
Internet at sea sucks which is nowhere more apparent than on the Carnival Pride. That being said, the cost for their value plan when booked in advance is $4 per day. On the Grandeur, the price was $15.95 per day. At that price, surely it was going to be blazing fast in comparison right? WRONG I only got a 24 hour pass and after the first hour, I went to customer service to cancel and get a refund. I talked to several people who said the same thing (no coverage in the cabin, only works when everyone else is asleep, etc.) but I also talked to someone who said he was video chatting on a daily basis so I will just leave this with a caveat emptor
Technology
The Carnival Pride has the Carnival Hub App which is a game changer. This free phone app gives you access to your stateroom charges, deck plans, activity guide, menus, etc. An optional capability for a one time fee of $5 for the entire cruise, allows you to chat with other guests on the ship. With younger children, this was huge. And because it was only local communication (no satellite uplink required), it was fast and reliable. Apparently RC has a similar app but it isn't available on the Grandeur.
The Grandeur has touch screen displays at the stairs on each deck which allows you to get an activity guide, see today's menu as well as map out how to get to something on the ship. This was really cool and the Pride didn't have this though it was available from the Hub App.
The Carnival Pride had a number of kiosks through-out the ship where you could check your room charges as well as on the TV in your room and the Hub App but the Grandeur had none of these - you had to go to Guest Services and get a print out each time (what a waste of paper).
The Grandeur had self-service soda machines for people who purchased the soda package but the Pride does not.
Gift Cards
This may seem like an odd thing to review but as I mentioned before, I am a value shopper and can get gift cards for at least 10% off which is a significant savings. Online and on the Pride, I could use a gift card to pay for anything (cruise fare, taxes, gratuities, excursions, etc.) and the process was easy - just enter the gift card information. The Grandeur was excruciating painful in comparison. When the gift certificates arrived in the mail, I discovered that I had to hand write information and then mail them back to Royal and that it could only be applied towards the base cruise fare. Once received, Royal then marked my account as being handled by a travel agent (I'm not making this up) which meant I could no longer have full control of my account online and had to call and explain each time any time I wanted to make a change.
Bring Your Own WateJuice/Soda
I'm not covering alcohol but I believe both ships allow each adult guest over the age of 21 to bring on a certain size bottle of wine/champagne.
Carnival Pride's official policy is that each guest, regardless of age is allowed to bring 12 cans/cartons of juice/soda/sparkling water. These must be placed in your carry-on luggage. Bottles (plastic/glass) are specifically prohibited.
The Grandeur's official policy is that no outside drinks are allowed aside from the alcohol allowance mentioned previously. In practice, they seem to look the other way for bottled water.
Effectively, you can bring bottled water on the Grandeur but not the Pride. You can bring 12 cans/cartons per person of juice/soda on the Pride but not the Grandeur.
Both ships make medically necessary allowances (you can bring on distilled water for a CPAP machine for instance).
Food/Dining
We always get "early dining" but both ships offered 3 options (early, late, my-time). The only difference to note was that early dining is 6 PM on the Pride but is 5:30 PM on the Grandeur.
The quality of the food in the main dining was great on both ships. The service in main dining is also excellent on both ships. The only difference between the two was the options offered. On the Pride, there is a section for "rare finds" where you might get to try something that you might not otherwise have such as frog legs or rabbit. On the Pride, there is also a section for "local" which is representative of whichever port you just departed from (Caribbean jerked chicken for instance). The Grandeur didn't have these on the menu and by the end of the cruise, the offerings seemed repetitive.
The buffet dining is a different story all together. The Windjammer on the Grandeur is tiny in comparison to the Pride's Lido. This was problematic for two reasons. First, seating. Second, offerings. The Pride has a ton of places where you can tell someone what you want and how you want it and they will make it for you (Blue Iguana for tacos/burritos/fajitas, Guy's Burger's for hamburgers, The Deli for hot/cold sandwiches, the Pizza Pirate for pizza, etc.) as well as a number of cuisine specific self-serve (my wife loves the Asian food from Chopsticks). On the Grandeur, I didn't really see any made-to-order food options in the Windjammer except for breakfast at the omelet making station which the Pride also has.
While I have tried a number of specialty dining options on a number of ships/lines, the only equivalent specialty dining that I experienced on both ships was the sushi restaurants (Pride = Bonsai, Grandeur = Izumi). Both were excellent. I think the Grandeur had the edge in terms of range of offering but the Pride had two options that I thought were unique. First, there is a "boat for two" for $22 which comes out on a literal boat and was too much for my wife and I to finish. Second, they had a "surprise and delight" feature (again, $22 for two) which was the chef's choice. Again, I think the Grandeur had a wider selection of options but the a la carte pricing was a bit more.
EDIT: My wife just informed me of one other difference which I was unaware of as I skipped the second formal night on the Grandeur. On the Pride, when they had lobster and filet mignon on the menu, she was allowed to order as many as she wanted. On the Grandeur, she was told only one lobster tail per guest. Because I didn't come to dinner that night, she ordered one for me and then ate two.
Excursions
Since this is a highly personal choice, it is hard to provide any meaningful comparison but there are two things worth pointing out. On the Pride, excursion prices are fairly stable and you likely will not see any discounts unless you follow John Heald and find one of the rare promo codes. On the Grandeur, the prices seemed to change all the time and every week I was getting an email offering a certain percentage off different excursions. I'm not sure either is superior but as they are different, I wanted to point them out. The second thing I wanted to mention I struggled if I should include or not as it has more to do with itinerary. The Pride tends to arrive at port early in the morning and depart around early dining giving you quite awhile to book whatever excursion you want. The Grandeur had weird arrival/departure times which made excursions more difficult to plan. Nassau for instance (Pride 8AM - 5PM, Grandeur 1PM - 11:59PM).
Entertainment
Kids: I couldn't keep my youngest daughter out of the youth program on either ship so I would say they are equivalent. Both ships have an arcade as well as age designated areas and lots of things for the kids to do. That is where the equivalency ends as Carnival wins this category hands down. On the Grandeur, kids are not allowed in the first row of shows and in the first 3 rows must be accompanied by an adult. On the Pride, every comedian must have a family friendly show in addition to the adult only show. The Pride has two water slides and a Splash Zone. The Grandeur has a rock climbing wall. The Pride has a ton of family targeted entertainment such as Hasbro The Game show where as the Grandeur seemed to tolerate those under 16. The Pride had events such as the Dr. Seuss breakfast ($5 per person) and Build-A-Bear where as I don't remember a single thing like that on the Grandeur.
Adults/General: The Grandeur only had 1 location where it put on shows (The Palladium) which is a two deck theater. On the Pride, there were two locations - the Butterfly lounge which doubled as the Punchliner Comedy Club and the Taj Mahal which is a three deck theater. The Grandeur did shows with a live band which it called an orchestra. The downside to this was they took up a lot of space which limited the size of the performance of whatever act was performing. On the Pride, they put on shows that use moving floors, backdrops with projected scenes as well, pyrotechnics as well as raised/lowered floors. None of that was possible on the Grandeur. On the Grandeur, there only ever seemed to be a single show that was repeated twice to accommodate differences in dining times. On the Pride, there seemed to be multiple different shows every night where the one in the main theater was repeated. For instance, there might have been three comedy routines in the Punchliner (1 family friendly by the first comedian, a later adult only by a second comedian and then the last show would be another adult only by the same comedian as the family friendly). That same night, they might have a magician in the main Taj Majal theater perform the same act twice.
Laundry
On the Grandeur, you need to check towels in/out using your sea pass card where there is a $25 charge for any towel not returned. These are roughly the same size as the bath towels - just colored blue. On the Pride, 4 towels are in your state room (more available upon request) and are giant beach towels. The cost if one is lost is $22. Oddly enough, you may also buy a brand new one for $22 if you want one to keep (they are nice towels).
The Pride has self-service launderettes on nearly every deck. The price recently went up to $3.25 to wash and $3.25 to dry for a total of $6.50 to do a load of laundry ($8 if you also need to buy detergent but we bring our own pods). The Grandeur doesn't offer any self-service laundry and charges $34.99 to do a small bag of laundry.
Room Service
Continental breakfast is free on both the Pride and the Grandeur. The only notable difference is the hours (Pride = 5AM-10AM, Grandeur = 6AM-11AM).
Room service is $7.95 + 18% gratuity on the Grandeur. It is more complicated on the Pride due to recent changes. The Pride stopped offering complimentary room service 24 hours a day but expanded the menu. From 6 AM until 10 PM, there are still complimentary room service items available but it now offers several other items during this time that range from $2 to $6. From 10 PM until 6 AM, an expanded menu is available with items ranging from $2 to $6.
Miscellaneous
I like beer - different styles of beer. The Pride doesn't have a lot of craft beer options. The Grandeur didn't have any. I ended up drinking Newcastle the entire Grandeur trip. On the Pride, I at least had a handful of options.
The Pride does not change the clock to match local times when in port but the Grandeur does. I watched both systems cause problems with other guests and do not feel one is superior to another. The important thing to remember is that even though you are on "island time", you must remain vigilant if you are supposed to be in a certain place at a certain time.
Trivia on the Pride is on the honor system (self-scoring) where as you are instructed to swap sheets on the Grandeur. The Pride gives out "ships on a stick" and sometimes medals as prizes where the Grandeur gives out a wide range of items (pens, highlighters, key chains, carabiner, etc.).
Both ships have a section of the casino marked as non-smoking. Until the Grandeur, I thought that was like saying you have a non-peeing section in the pool. I was so surprised on the Grandeur of the lack of smoke smell that I actually played black-jack several times. This was not the case on the Pride where I would actually go up a deck just to avoid walking through it.
On the Grandeur, while in port, my daughter couldn't sign herself in/out of the youth program despite my authorization that she could do so. I can't remember if this was also the case on the Pride. I think we may have only noticed this again because of the weird port arrival/departure times.
The Pride had a dedicated "game" room, library and chapel. If the Grandeur had these things, I didn't find them but they did have a bookcase that served as their library.
The Pride has bathrobes available upon request for any category cabin and any loyalty level guest. The Grandeur only has bathrobes available for higher level cabin categories/loyalty levels.
I have only cruised on the Grandeur once but towel animals didn't seem to be important. On the Pride, we had a new animal every single night in our room but on the Grandeur it seemed to be once every few nights. On the Pride, one morning the entire Lido deck was covered in towel animals - in extremely creative ways. Nothing like it happened on the Grandeur. This may not seem like much but the kids were kind of let down.
This really isn't about the ships so I hesitated to add it but I feel it is an important distinction. Royal's website is a hot mess compared to Carnival's.
Closing Thoughts
While the Pride provides much better value dollar for dollar, we had a great time on both ships and would go on either again for the right price/itinerary.
If I didn't cover something that you want to know about, please ask. Both ship's have "The Quest" for instance which I didn't cover but would be happy to discuss if someone wants to know more.

6 Nights in Vegas - From Someone Cheap

6 Nights in Vegas - On a Budget

A little background on us. I’m 35 my wife is 28. We aren’t major gamblers by any stretch, but we usually hit up a local casino maybe once a month, twice if we do good, and usually gambling about $100 a piece each time. We are both huge sports fans, especially college sports (Notre Dame). I’m a bit of a tightwad most of the time.
The morning of April 2, 2016 I asked her if she wanted to marry me (both of us have been married once before), she said yes. I bought tickets that morning, didn’t tell anyone our plans and drove from South Bend Indiana area to Chicago O’Hare, and arrived in Vegas right around dark.
The first couple of Hotels I tried for were booked, but we ended up finding a room at Planet Hollywood (which we spent all of about 4 hours in). We then flew out the next morning, spending a total of about 12 hours in Vegas.
This time around, after finding out my kids would be with their mom over Spring Break, I decided to save up and actually plan a trip this time. We debated Florida, Canada, the Smokies, and ended up deciding on Vegas.
Tuesday – March 27 We stayed the night at Blue Chip Casino (BOYD Gaming) in Michigan City Indiana (halfway to O’Hare). Both of us had comps for a free room and Buffet’s as well and about $75 worth of food credit that we had been saving for our Vegas trip. They also gave me a $25 gas card. We decided to gamble $100, and lost pretty quickly. After eating our “free buffets” we decided to go to bed, anticipating an early morning.
Wednesday – March 28 Once we got to O’Hare, we went and checked our 1 bag in at the Spirit Airlines desk. Everything at Spirit is A la Carte, and I had paid for 1 checked bag, however the lady in front of me discovered that their checked bags cost even more if over 40lbs. I had gone with Spirit to save a buck, and overall the experience wasn’t terrible, but I’ve had much better experiences with other non-discount airlines. After arriving in Vegas, we rode the bus from the airport to the Rental Car facility, and in short time had our new car for the week. The nice lady at Payless tried selling me several extras, and I politely declined each of them. I’ve come to expect the sales pitch no matter what rental company I use, and overall my experience with these guys was very good. We ended up changing reservations last minute for our Hotel due to additional offers I received while at Blue Chip. After checking in at the Fremont (all 6 nights) we unpacked, stopped at IN & OUT Burger, and made a run to Wal-Mart for snacks and drinks. We then decided to go check out the Nuwu Dispensary, we were both very impressed with the selection, cleanliness, and friendliness of everyone we talked to there (we are novices at this lol). After making a “small” purchase, we decided to drive out to Mount Charleston for the evening and ended up catching the sunset before driving back into town. We spent the rest of the evening walking around Fremont Street mostly just people watching, before we grabbed a snack from the Café inside the Fremont and went back to our room for the night. The food was average at best, but the price was right, even if I hadn’t used my points.
Thursday – March 29 We slept in until about 9:30, and slowly made our way over to the Hoover Dam. On our way to the Dam, we stopped at Sunset Station for their Brunch Buffet, and were really impressed, especially for the $7 price. After gambling a little and not winning we continued to the Dam. Waze had me going some crazy roads that I’d never taken before to get there, and took us about 3 times longer than I had ever remembered. After getting closer and seeing all of the traffic/road construction I now knew why. All of the lower parking lots were full, so we drove to the little gift shop on the Arizona side (I was surprised to see the road now ends here), got a couple of little souvenirs for our boys, and walked around a little bit before exploring Lake Meade a little and driving back to Fremont. After relaxing for a little bit we again decided to walk around Fremont Street and ended up getting Margaritas and Enchilada Nacho’s at Nachodaddy’s. I would highly recommend this place if you want a good drink and great nachos, we both loved it, and our bartenders were great. After walking back to the Fremont and going back and forth on winning/losing at the slot machines, my wife got a bonus feature on the machine she was playing, when I noticed a guy standing behind her watching. He looked really familiar, and after seeing “Deez Nuts” on the back of his jacket, I realized he was the youtube star from the Deez Nuts video. He posed for a picture with my wife and then went on his way. We gambled for a few hours and went to bed about even on the day.
Friday – March 30 After grabbing coffee from Dunkin Donuts inside the Fremont, we decided to drive down to Primm, because my wife had never been to California. We stopped at the truck stop and decided against topping off on gas, due to the price being over $4/gallon. We walked around the shop, found some more souvenirs for the kids, and ate lunch at Qdoba. After driving around behind the outlet mall, I realized there wasn’t a sign saying welcome to California, so I hopped on I15 and continued South/West until she got to see her sign. We went a few exits and decided a trip all the way to Baker wasn’t worth the drive, so we turned around just past the giant solar farm on the right. In the stretch from about a mile outside of Primm to where we turned around, we passed probably a dozen of each Nevada State Police and California Highway Patrol, many of which were on motorcycles and all of which had at least 1 car pulled over. About the time we made it back into Vegas, my buddy’s flight from Washington DC had arrived (he’s getting ready to leave for Japan for the next 3 years) so we went and picked him up at his hotel (Hooters). My wife won some money on the “Vacation” machine in Hooters and we decided to go walk the strip, which wasn’t a bad walk at all. We ended up going through the MGM, across to the Aria/Monte Carlo area and decided all the bars were a bit too busy due to a Golden Knights game getting ready to start. We walked over to Excalibur and rode the monorail to Mandalay Bay. We spent the rest of the evening here, and I decided to bet on Notre Dame Women, which turned out to be a good bet. My buddy, being born in Connecticut bet on UConn and that pretty much set the tone for his luck the rest of his trip. My wife and I ended up getting a giant hot dog/pepsi combo for $3.99 at the Café inside the Fremont after returning, and it was a better bet than the Chinese food we had tried earlier in the week.
Saturday – March 31 Another buddy of ours had moved to Vegas about 6 weeks ago, while his wife and kids are moving out there today. He called me late Saturday morning, and had us meet him out at the RV Dealership he works for. After getting a tour of their half million dollar Motorhomes (built here in Indiana), we hopped in his convertible and rode out to Red Rock Canyon. The line to get in was about 100 cars long, and it looked like they were only letting a few in every 15 minutes, so we drove out along that area and headed back a different way to the south side of town. The company he works for sponsors the Horse Arena at the South Point Casino, so we rode over, watched some of the show, and got the behind the scenes tour of the stalls, practice arena, and got to meet the horses/cowboys. We ended up spending most of the day at South Point, and we really enjoyed it, probably our favorite one on the “strip” so to speak. We ate dinner at Baja Miguel’s and all enjoyed our food. Later on Saturday night we rode back to downtown. My buddy that now lives in Vegas, took us to Container Park, which was really cool. After that we walked back down Fremont Street and I had bet earlier on Michigan beating Loyola in Men’s basketball. Another good choice, however I had to find a casino with a sports book that could cash me out. We ended up going to “The D” and really enjoyed the atmosphere/older machines. My wife ended up playing the old school Horse Racing Quarter Machine upstairs and stayed on it for quite a while. We ended up heading back to the Fremont, where we gambled the rest of our “$200 limit” for the day, and did pretty good. After several hours of gambling, we decided we were hungry, so we walked over to the Café at Binions, and were really impressed with what we had.
Sunday – April 1 We ate the Breakfast Buffet at the Fremont (comped), took an Uber back to our rental car on the other side of town, picked our buddy up at Hooters and headed north to Zion National Park. A couple hours later we arrived and were somewhat surprised that it wasn’t completely packed. My buddy has a free pass (Military) so we saved $30 on the gate fee. We spent most of the day at Zion, climbing, hiking, and exploring, it was my 4th time there, but the first time for my wife and buddy, and while my wife isn’t a hiker like me, she really enjoyed it and mentioned that it was one of her top 3 things we did on our trip. On our way back to town we stopped at Casa Blanca in Mesquite for a few hours, we didn’t do any good, but enjoyed the change of pace from the Vegas casinos.
Monday – April 2 We walked the strip again, and ate the brunch buffet at the Bellagio. It was really good, but if I hadn’t used the buy 1 get 1 free coupon I had, I wouldn’t have been quite as impressed. We walked around the strip some more, and ended up buying tickets to X-Country for my wife and I for the 10pm show at Harrah’s. The lady at the Box Office didn’t offer any discount, but when I asked about using my players card, she gave me a $10/ticket discount on the tickets. After that we drove across town to Sams Town (Boyd Gaming) and gambled for a few hours, I remembered a Steak House from several years back that I really enjoyed here, but we ended deciding against it for our anniversary meal. After going back to our hotel to change and shower, we ended up going to Viva Zapata’s (based on Reddit reviews). We weren’t disappointed! The food was amazing, the atmosphere even better, and the wait staff was the best! Our waiter asked what brought us out there, I told him it was our 2 year anniversary and we had flown in from Indiana to celebrate. We were enjoying the live Mariachi music, but started getting a little anxious as we were waiting on our bill (we wanted to get to Harrah’s by 9:30). A few minutes later here came the wait staff/musician to our table, put giant sombrero’s on us, gave us a couple of churros and each of us a shot of Tequila (no charge) while they sang us a song. I tipped them well and we were on our way to the show. My wife is a huge country music fan, and while I enjoy some of the older stuff, I’m more of a metalhead. I was pleasantly surprised at the price of our tickets, and for the money, the show wasn’t bad. 1 of the dancers really stood out from the rest though, but all in all it was a good experience. I wanted to go see Absinthe but found out they weren’t playing on Monday night. After our show we walked down to the Bellagio Fountains to see a show before heading back to the hotel.
Tuesday – April 3 We spent most of the morning packing up from our 6 nights at the Fremont, I checked with the Casino host to see about possibly comping more than 2 of our nights, but she showed me where my score in their algorithm was only a 65, and needed to be 100 to qualify for more. I still only paid $165 for the 4 nights I had to pay for, which was more than fair in my opinion, considering how little time we actually spent in the room. We went to Hooters and gambled for about 20 minutes, winning a couple hundred dollars, then took my buddy to the airport. Our flight wasn’t until 6:30pm, so we drove back North and had to try another Reddit suggestion for our last meal in town. We ended up at Hamburger Hut as we love to eat wings, and although the location and building were a bit sketchy, we ordered hot wings, a hot dog, and chili fries, this was our favorite food of the trip. We also really enjoyed hanging with some of the locals while we ate lunch. After eating lunch we hit up Walmart by the airport to find some last minute souvenirs to take back home, and then returned our rental car and waited a few hours for our flight back home.
What I would recommend
Sight Seeing - Zion National Park, Red Rock Canyon, Lake Mead, Container Park (especially if you have kids)
Food - Hamburger Hut, Viva Zapata’s, In & Out Burger, Nachodaddy, Hotdogs at South Point, Breakfast Buffet at Sunset Station, also saved a bunch of money by getting snacks and drinks for our room at the grocery store on day 1.
Casinos – As a gambler, the ones off the Strip seemed to pay better, but the ones on the strip were much classier and had newer slots you can’t find elsewhere. My 3 favorite were the Fremont, The D, and South Point. My wife really enjoyed seeing the sights at the Bellagio, the Flamingo, and others on the Strip. No matter what, if you’re going to gamble, get a players card, it saved me a bunch of money.
Transportation – If you like to do more than just stay in town and walk all week, I’d highly recommend getting a rental car like we did (about $200 for the week for a nice sized car), but if you don’t plan on going on long day trips like we did, UbeLyft would be great.
Entertainment – XCountry at Harrahs wasn’t the top show I’ve ever seen, but 2 tickets for $80 something and a happy wife, I can’t complain at all. Watching all the entrepreneurs on Fremont Street as well as the stage shows for free was hard to beat, and any trip to Vegas should include the Bellagio Fountains, the Flamingo Habitat, and any other free entertainment you can find along the strip.
What I wouldn’t recommend
Airlines – don’t go with the budget airlines expecting to save a bunch of money if you plan on taking a bag with you, checked or carry on, prefer to pick your seats out in advance, or want to get a snack while flying.
Food – While we didn’t really have any “bad” experiences, the café and Buffet at the Fremont were probably my least favorite, but I can’t complain because I didn’t have to pay for anything at either of them. Also I was looking forward to checking out Heart Attack Grill (based on Ducktales review), but they were packed and took Cash Only fyi.
Sight Seeing – Fremont Street after dark really isn’t the place to take your small kids but be sure to take them to Container Park during the day, Hoover Dam (unless you go early), Red Rock Canyon scenic trail on a holiday weekend. Pawn Stars was packed and if you’ve seen it once, the excitement kind of wore off, and they apparently charge for parking now. I parked up the street for free and only had a short walk, but the people trying to push you to buy extras outside of the store really kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

2015 Offseason Review Series: Day 2 (Cleveland Browns)

Cleveland Browns

Division: AFC North

Intro

I don't think I need to pontificate too long one where the Cleveland Browns stand coming out of 2014. The Browns hit a promising 7-4 record after week 12, in spite of key injuries to Alex Mack and Jordan Cameron, with Josh Gordon suspended, and well-hyped rookie QB Johnny Manziel sitting on the bench. Most seasons, this would be considered a success of the new coaching staff and front office, and a sign that maybe the team was heading in the right direction for the first time in the Jimmy Haslam era, but things ended in a complete trainwreck by most accords: hometown hero QB Brian Hoyer wasn't playing up to snuff and would be benched for Manziel, who actually played worse. The lack of depth and internal drama within the coaching staff and front office became the headlines, and to make matters worse, Manziel would manage to find himself injured only 7 quarters into his football career during the Week 16 encounter against the Panthers.
Cleveland slammed the brakes hard and ended with a 7-9 record, with more questions than answers about the state of the team and the front office than ever. Hell, for most of this offseason, people have genuinely been wondering if Cleveland wasn't going to go out of its way to draft a replacement QB for Johnny Manziel, who barely played 2 games. If that doesn't tell you all you need to know how rough this season ended…
Having lived through awful regime after awful regime in the ownership (Randy "Aston Villa Enthusiast" Lerner), front office (Phil "How Much Can We Trade To Dallas" Savage, Carmen "Can't Wait to Go Back to Cali" Policy, and Mike "Worst Draft Gambler Of All Time" Holmgren), and the coaching staff (Butch "Arrogant Fuck" Davis, Romeo "Carl Winslow" Crennel, Eric "Mangina" Mangini, and Pat "Incompetent Shitbrick" Shurmur), all I'm hoping to get coming out of this offseason is a sign that things are on the right path for the first time in a while, and they may just be.

Coaching Changes

January 8, 2015: Offensive Coordinator Kyle Shanahan leaves the Cleveland Browns after disagreements with the front office.
January 9, 2015: QB’s coach Dowell Loggains is fired.
January 15, 2015: WR’s coach Mike McDaniel leaves the Browns in a mutual end.
January 21, 2015: The Browns hire John DeFilippo as the new Offensive Coordinator from Oakland.
January 28, 2015: The Browns hire Joker Phillips as the new WR coach, his first stint coaching in the NFL.
January 31, 2015: The Browns hire Kevin O’Connell as the new QB coach, his first stint coaching in the NFL

So the Browns had a busy January. >_>
The issues with Kyle Shanahan and the Cleveland Browns became so prevalent near the end of his run that they nearly eclipsed the Manziel discussion (at least locally) during the 5-game losing streak to end the 2014 campaign. He clearly didn’t see what the front office saw in Johnny Manziel and there was a lack in synergy between him, Mike Pettine, and the decision makers. It was also clear that Dowell Loggains might have been a contributor to the problems, stemming all the way back to draft night rumors that he’d been texting Johnny Manziel about “wrecking this league”. The move was inevitable, but all things considered, the Browns went from young offensive minds to more young offensive minds in their replacements.
While losing Shanahan’s “prodigal” offensive coaching ability hurt, gaining John DeFilippo, who had been instrumental in working with a young Mark Sanchez in his best season and seemed to have a positive early influence on Derek Carr, certainly softened the blow. DeFilippo fits with what Pettine wants in hard-nosed guys, and hopefully will be a catalyst towards some change on and off the field with this group. Adding Joker Phillips, who is seemingly eternally better suited as a coordinator, and Kevin O’Connell, who seems to be exclusively working to find young talent a QB, might have a set-up in Cleveland made for beyond 2016. It's not a sexy group of coaches, but they will be capable; inexperienced nevertheless, but still capable.

Free Agency

Coming off a mass coaching exodus on the offensive side of the ball, it's no surprise a lot of change in on-field personnel was coming this offseason as well:

Players Lost

Player	Position	New team
Brian Hoyer	QB	Texans
Jim Leonard	SS	Retired
Miles Austin	WR	Eagles
Jordan Cameron	TE	Dolphins
Ahtyba Rubin	DL	Seahawks
Jabaal Sheard	OLB	Patriots
Buster Skrine	CB	Jets
Paul McQuistan	OL	Released
Spencer Lanning	P	Buccaneers
Nick McDonald	OL	Released
Christian Yount	LS	Released

Major Losses: Brian Hoyer, Jordan Cameron, Ahtyba Rubin, Jabaal Sheard, Buster Skrine
When you’re losing 5 freaking starters from 2014, it’s never a good thing.
Brian Hoyer may have completely fallen apart in the second half of last season, but it’s become more and more difficult to determine where it was lost; was it coaching? Did Hoyer just go cold or was he never that good to begin with? Were we in love with the idea of him more than what he really was; a hometown boy who was peaking too quickly? Any way you dice it, after a dismal finish, Hoyer left, hopeful for greener pastures in Houston. When Hoyer had a healthy offensive line and was on point, he wasn't setting the world on fire, but looked capable enough to work as a system QB. Maybe he'll never go on to be more than a backup in the longer term, but with what limited time he had, Brian Hoyer, in spite of a 19-19 TD/INT line, was 10-6 as a starter, which by most counts is a playoff team. I don't think anyone wishes him ill, we just wish he'd been more 2013 Brian Hoyer.
He would be followed out after a, frankly, confusing free agency mess over Pro Bowl TE Jordan Cameron, which involved Charles Clay ending up in Buffalo and Cameron turning around after an offer from Cleveland and signing with Miami the same day. I heard this entirely play out on the radio as our hosts seemed to have less of a clue than I did as to what was going on. Any way you dice it, Cameron's venture out to free agency was not a graceful exit, but Cameron was an excellent athletic target when he was healthy. He removes a big piece from the passing game and if Miami can tap into him and keep him on the field, he can be a top-tier TE.
On the other side of the ball, some would argue that Ahtyba Rubin became disposable after a somewhat pedestrian 2014, only logging 28 tackles on what was considered a significantly poor defensive line, but Rubin was a leader on defense since 2008.
The same could be said about Jabaal Sheard, who slipped a bit in production last year but was locked into an odd spot between Krueger and Mingo in the pass rush, is only 26 years old, and still has potential for success in New England; and the fact that he was rather active with the Cleveland fan base only makes it a tougher.
Buster Skrine at any given time was the most beloved and most reviled CB in Cleveland Browns history, but he earned his keep in 2014 with a strong campaign in spite of young challengers at CB behind him.
Minor losses: Jim Leonard, Spencer Lanning
More than anything, Jim Leonard was a good dude, who was an impactful player on special teams, with a wealth of knowledge for younger players. But retirement comes to all. There are still some great veterans on this squad, but at the end of the day, solid support from well vested veterans does matter.
I'll miss you forever, Spencer Lanning.

Players Added

Player	Position	Old team
Josh McCown	QB	Buccaneers
Brian Hartline	WR	Dolphins
Dwayne Bowe	WR	Chiefs
Tramon Williams	CB	Packers
Randy Starks	DL	Dolphins
Rob Housler	TE	Cardinals
Thad Lewis	QB	Texans, Bills, Browns, fuck, maybe Argonauts?
Andy Lee	P	Niners (Trade)

Major Additons: Tramon Williams, Randy Starks, Brian Hartline, Dwayne Bowe
The Browns were sitting on a ton of draft picks and still had a lot of talent (when that talent decided to play...looking at you Justin Gilbert) from last year's draft. They needed to get younger while providing leadership on defense, and that's what two of these signings did. The other two were simply pick-ups that were by utter necessity. But there was still cap space to be shed by the Browns, and although they approached FA lightly (so as to accumulate compensatory picks in 2016)
Tramon Williams got himself $21 million because if you're a CB, Mike Pettine wants you on his team. I believe we currently have brought 94 CB's to camp this year. But beyond Pettine's depth-in-the-secondary fetish, Williams is a solid cover-man who can help alongside Joe Haden to add veteran leadership to the motley crue of CB's. Yes, he's 32, and he did get a bit big of a pay-day, but at this point, if you want Pierre Desir, Justin Gilbert, and Ka'Waun Williams to reach their potential (that's not even counting the other 2 freaking CB's we drafted), you need more than Haden to get them there with Skrine departing.
In the same vein, Randy Starks. Starks isn't going to set the world on fire on that defensive line, but he will likely not be asked to be the anchor with some other additions this offseason in the draft, and can provide guidance to the young players on a defensive line that was frankly...well, shit, and has been shit for any number of reasons for several years. Be it the health of the team or the lack of talent, stopping the run was a key point from this offseason, and the Browns actually took action to fix it.
Rounding out the big pieces on the FA class, your 2011 fantasy WRs! Neither Dwayne Bowe nor Brian Hartline has been anything more than above-average in their long-term careers, and there's any number of things you could blame that on; poor QB's, poor coaching staffs and offensive schemes, or their own limited ability as WR’s, but both bring one thing Cleveland lacks; veteran targets. With the departure of Miles Austin and...well, something else we'll get to shortly, the Browns have no weapons for whoever ends up throwing the damn ball aside from slot guys like Andrew Hawkins and Taylor Gabriel. Even if the Browns get very little in the long term from either guy, they are going to be the Browns' receiving corps in 2015; and both have plenty to prove.
Minor Additions: Josh McCown, Rob Housler, Andy Lee
Let's be clear: the signing of Josh "It's Josh Fucking McCown, Do We Even Need a Nickname?" McCown was not because the Browns thought he was some incredible QB who could be the answer. He's 34, he's coming off an awful season, and I think we all know the McCown "career backup" legacy he and his brother Luke have created. Honestly, McCown is here to be a quiet backup. Although he may be called on to start a bit this season, he's not here to be the long-term QB. The Browns fielded him a bit extra money because of the cap room, but he's here as a very, very short bridge to either seeing what we have in Johnny Manziel or "Cardared Hackookiel" next year. And that's fine. I'm not a huge fan of it on the whole, but in that sense, it at least is rooted in some reason.
Another injury-bugged TE in Rob Housler, Housler at least offers some hope of finding a target at the position for a team that lacks it. And he's only 27; he's still got a little time to get it right.
The trade to the 49ers was an odd one (mainly because if I wanted a special teams player from San Francisco, it would be PHIL WE MISS YOU) but Andy Lee is a damn good punter who will do one thing; facilitate the defense. If the offense is struggling as it seems they may, Lee should be able to pin the opposing team deep in their own territory to allow the defense to try and make them make mistakes.

Draft

...wait, there was supposed to be an angry rant here. Where'd I put that?
....no. No fucking way. The Browns didn't completely muck up this draft?

Player	Round, Pick	Analysis
Danny Shelton, DT, Washington	1.12	The main commitment from the Browns this year was to fix the run D, and Feast Mode is here to do just that. Shelton is a big, BIG boy at 339lbs, and although most expect him to be a 2-down player, he's an animated, deceptively quick anchor NT who happened to do his workouts for the draft in a fucking lava lava. He then won the hearts of America when he attempted to hit Goodell with the belly-to-belly suplex. We already love this dude, his story is incredible, and I hope he becomes a fixture on the defensive line for years, maybe even as a 3-down player if his weight keeps in check. It's high time we got the D-Line right in the long term.
Cameron Erving, OL, Florida State	1.19	In the bar I was sitting in watching on draft night, almost everyone walked out when the Browns passed on Breshad Perriman. Perriman may turn out to be a fantastic WR, but this pick was honestly way smarter than Farmer's gotten credit for: One, it provides a safety net for if Alex Mack opts to leave Cleveland after this offseason, as Erving was a more than capable C at FSU. Two, it pushes Mitchell Schwartz and John "Get Pushed Back Seven Yards Every Play" Greco into competition on the right side of the line. If you aren't elite, shoring up the lines is never a bad idea, and this was an investment with not just 2015 but 2016 and beyond in mind. That's something you don't see in Cleveland often.
Nate Orchard, OLB, Utah	2.19	A theme of this draft was "Let's pass on Jaelen Strong and make JohnnyFire angry", but we made up for that getting a guy who was just an awesome fit. Orchard may have been a bit of a "one-year sensation", but he also fits exactly the character and play style that Pettine is looking for in the pass rush and will quickly make up for the loss of Jabaal Sheard, as well as pushing Mingo and Kruger to keep up. This seemed so obvious even dumb me was able to predict it on the /Browns contest this year.
Duke Johnson, RB, Miami	3.13	At this point in the draft I'd accepted the Browns were just not going to take a WR, especially since now all of the ones with any hype (aside from Sammie Coates) were well off the board. That said, Duke Johnson possess speed that Terrance "Instagram Failure" West lacks and escapability that Isaiah "Lunchables Enthusiast" Crowell lacks, and he can catch passes. Yes, the Browns maybe didn't need Duke Johnson, but who cares; if there's a special player available as the BPA, you get him, and if Johnson lives up to his potential, he could be a huge get for the Browns.
Xavier Cooper, DL, Washington State	3.32	Much was made post-draft of how heavily the Browns scouted the Pac-12, and this is true when they garnered (to some) the best two D-Line prospects in the conference. Cooper actually fits a bit more of the mold of Randy Starks, and although he is a raw talent, he'll have a great mentor and get time to develop. To sneak up and grab a second highly-touted piece to stop the run and improve the Front 7 was incredibly solid of this FO.
Ibraheim Campbell, SS, Northwestern	4.16	Oh hey, the guy I always grabbed using the First-Pick simulator to bump up my final score in the 4th round! Truth is that Donte Whitner isn't going to be around forever, and Campbell was a strong S prospect (albeit in a weak class) that could learn well from the veteran, and will contribute heavily on special teams with the loss of Jim Leonard.
Vince Mayle, WR, Washington State	4.24	Okay, Farmer, let's talk a moment. I love what you did with this draft. I really do. But this is the first WR you opt to take? Yeah, Mayle has prototypical size, and yeah, he could certainly be molded into a solid weapon due to his raw athleticism. But in order to get to this point, you left on the board Devante Parker, Breshad Perriman, Phillip Dorsett, Devin Smith, Dorial Green Beckham, Devin Funchess, Tyler Lockett, Jaelen Strong, Chris Conley, Sammie Coates, Ty Montgomery, Jamison Crowder and Justin Hardy. Many of those guys I honestly didn't even want, but this pick sadly reeked of just being too-little-too-late. But I'm gonna root for Super Smash Bros. Mayle and hope he develops quickly.
Charles Gaines, CB, Louisville	6.13	Mike Pettine has a fetish for CB’s, we know this. Gaines lacks a lot in size, and that's the main thing that kept him from getting over the hump, but working in the slot and using his speed, he could be beyond just a depth or special teams guy when called upon. An okay depth move all things considered.
Malcolm Johnson, TE/HB, Mississippi State	6.19	With the Browns going run-first in 2015, you need to get someone who can work better as a FB than...god, I can't even make a joke here because I can't remember the name of a Browns FB to save my life. Johnson will probably end up being asked to be an H-Back TE who could slot in at FB and help open lanes, or push forward.
Randall Tefler, TE, USC	6.22	Another Pac-12 find. I wasn't a huge fan on many TE's in the draft class, although I would've liked to see the Browns make an effort to get someone more dynamic. That said, Tefler is a solid blocker who will likely be used to add depth/replace Gary Barnidge or Jim "Forgot About" Dray in the blocker TE role. If nothing else, a low-risk depth move.
Hayes Pullard, ILB, USC	7.2	A very patient player who seemed to lack the killer instinct that other ILB prospects showed on the field, Pullard this late was a decent pick-up. He'll have a good mentor in Dansby and he can function well as a role-player and special teams guy.
Ifo Ekpre-Olomu, CB, Oregon	7.24	I was actually watching the pre-Kentucky Derby at a casino in Cleveland when this pick was made, and there was an audible "HOLY CRAP!" from so many people around when the pick was finalized. There will be a lot asked for Captain IEO (He needs to moonwalk for his touchdown pick-6 return celebrations while "Another Part of Me" plays, real talk.) to get back to full strength in 2016, but if Ifo manages to get back to there and meets his expectations, this secondary could be fucking insane. Haden, Williams, a ton of young talent, and a guy who would've been a first round pick if he'd come out one year earlier. There was no risk in this; this late in the draft, see if you can't find your next Richard Sherman.

The main thing we didn't touch in this draft was WR, and yes, that list from earlier is true. I would've liked to see us add a pure WR1 here, but the commitment was clearly to round out this defense, which is exactly what the FO did. It was almost refreshing; a draft that wasn't going for splash players, but was made as honest-to-god building blocks for 4-5 years down the line. Using foresight in a Cleveland Browns draft, who'd have thought that was fucking possible?
Note: I also did a defending the draft piece which sums up most of what I said. Check out the whole series over at /NFL_Draft.

Other Offseason News That Affected The Team

...okay, fuck.

Johnny Rehab: Johnny Manziel basically hit the wall, and hit it hard, starting with a party on the Friday night before the season ending game in Baltimore, which resulted in a ton of drama and punishments for multiple members of the team. After every hot take that could ever be made about Manziel's ability to succeed and his potential dependency on the party life, Manziel finally checked into rehab on February 4th. I'm not sure where Manziel goes from this, honestly. Since his check out from rehab, he did have what seemed like a majonon-incident at a golf course, but he also left his party-enabling lavish apartment at "The 9" downtown to move to the suburbs, dropped the "Johnny Football" moniker, and by most accounts seems to be working his ass off after a first season that went absolutely off the rails. The Browns have dug themselves into a Manziel shaped hole, and 2015 is going to either tell us if Manziel can dig his own way out, both on and off the field, or just keep digging deeper until the Browns have to give up and try again in 2016. We'll see.
Text-gate-gate: Ray Farmer will be suspended for the first 4 games for sending texts down to the field discussing play calls. I'm conflicted, because it feels like Farmer is a good guy with an eye for late-round talent and UDFA's, who was jerked around in 2014 by Old Man Haslam. Was he doing Haslam’s stooge work here, or was he just passionate about righting the ship? Just...Ray, I like you for the most part. Please just stay out of trouble for 2015. I don't wanna turn over this organization yet.
Josh Gordon Suspended...Again: ..........sigh. Josh Gordon gets caught drinking on a plane after the regular season had ended during a trip to Vegas and gets tested upon landing. He didn't know he couldn't drink until the end of the entire season, and writes a passive aggressive letter about how he doesn't have a substance abuse problem and the entire team starts getting fingers pointed at, even drawing "Uncle" Phil Taylor into a response. Whether you think Gordon is an addict or not, it doesn't matter; he's been through the ringer and still doesn't fucking know better. If he's back in 2016 and can keep his moronic ass on the field, fantastic, because the Browns need him, but if not, this might be the end. Inevitably, he'll go win a Super Bowl somewhere else, we know this. But if you're trying to change the culture, you can't let this guy fuck up again, and they did. This many chances to play in the rules of the system he backed into on his own accord, it's frustrating to watch. He's got Megatron-level talent but his biggest enemy seems to be himself.
The new Browns, Same As the Old Browns: This year was Nike's rebranding for Cleveland, and things did not start well with the new logo, which was the same logo with a brighter gradient in spite of media hype and some internal push for how exciting the rebrand would be. It resulted in an insane amount of mockery early on as a result. Although the "brown was unchanged", the uniforms were not, and although the damn stripe that cuts off just before the shoulder pisses me off, they've grown on me a bit, so kudos on that much. Hopefully this is a catalyst to the culture change that front offices and fans in Cleveland have been dying for.

Projected Starting Lineup

Offense

QB: Josh McCown, followed by Johnny Manziel - Kind of hilarious that every pundit is suggesting that Josh McCown is being asked to be the long term starter for Cleveland as a 34 year old career backup, but I have a feeling that he'll be starting off the season. But at the end of the day, it's all down to Manziel to play this season. You must see what we have in this kid and take the good and the bad, because learning you have nothing is better than blindly hoping you have something. Or McCown.
RB: Duke Johnson - If you read into camp, Duke Johnson has been playing his dick off. I think that the RB1 role is going to be fluid with Crow and West, but Duke's pass-catching ability might move him into a prominent role faster than expected.
FB: Malcolm Johnson - We’ve got nobody else.
WR1: Dwayne Bowe - Bowe is the closest thing on this team to being a pure WR1 right now in the absence of veteran help or a true star, so he'll have this role.
WR2: Brian Hartline - Hartline worked well as a WR2 in Miami and he'll be called upon to be more of the same here. I expect Vince Mayle to be waiting in the wings.
Slot WR: Andrew Hawkins - After getting a...well, absurd contract in the steal from Cincinnati in 2014, Hawkins lived up to what was needed in the absence of big-bodied WR's in 2014 and should continue that trend. Taylor Gabriel and Travis Benjamin will be waiting.
TE: Rob Housler - This is honestly the biggest toss-up coming out of camp stories, because we don't know if Housler can truly make the jump this year. But I'd venture that Housler will be the top option with Barnidge getting some other opportunities and TefleDray getting blocking reps.
LT: Joe Thomas - ...duh.
LG: Joel Bittonio - ...yawn.
C: Alex Mack - ...zzz.
RG: Cameron Erving - Erving has been exponentially better as an inside lineman. I figure he will be moved between RG and RT as needed to see what sets work best with Greco and Schwartz, but I think he is ultimately an upgrade over Greco. His next best option would be to be at RT, and to move Schwartz into the RG role.
RT: Mitchell Schwartz - I believe this is his contract year, so he'll have a lot to prove either here or at RG, that he’s beyond his 5th round evaluation.

Defense

LDE: Desmond Bryant - Desmond played a tough 2014 campaign, and although Cooper will probably push him for this spot (along with Armonty Bryant), I think Desmond will have it locked down to start.
NT: Danny Shelton - Feast Mode is having a luau.
RDE: Randy Starks - Veteran presence wins out. Xavier Cooper might see some play time, but I don't see him completely lapping Starks. Expect Phil Taylor to also be in the mix here, if not at NT.
LOLB: Barkevious Mingo - Yes, a baby did eat my Mingo. Hopefully he can continue his progress into this season, because he needs to with Orchard nipping.
LILB: Karlos Dansby - A veteran leader coming off injury who should continue to be a spark in the LB corps.
RILB: Craig Robertson - I'd like to see Robertson make a stronger push this season into becoming a more well-rounded open-field defender, but he’ll do for now.
ROLB: Paul "T-1000" Kruger - THOSE EYES
CB1: Joe Haden - Haden's emergence as a leader and great talent at the CB position locks him in.
CB2: Tramon Williams - Tramon is going to have to battle to keep this all year; you've got a hungry bunch behind him in Gilbert/Williams/DesiGaines.
FS: Tashaun Gipson - Beyond the contract struggle, Gipson has been rock solid at the FS position lately and hopefully continues his progression.
SS: Donte Whitner - Twitter Troll Supreme

Special Teams

P: Andy Lee - Put 'em on the 1 yard line, Andy.
K: Not Billy Cundiff - At this point, fucking anybody. If I had to watch Billy Cundiff botch one more close distance FG I was going to lose my fucking mind.
KR: Marlon Moore - Moore's role on this team is pretty much exclusively this, but Duke Johnson and Travis Benjamin will likely challenge him. I hope Benjamin can turn back the clock and get his KR status back to the shape it once was.

Position Group Strengths and Weaknesses

Position Group	Strengths	Weaknesses
QB	Manziel is still young. McCown won't do anything too stupid.	Manziel is still a rookie. McCown won't do anything too smart.
RB	Depth. Three dynamic backs bringing something different to the table with each.	Lack of experience; two sophomores and a rookie.
WTE	Lots of guys with a lot to prove.	That proof needs to come fast: no proven talent, no proven game-changers, no proven big-bodied true WR1.
O-Line	Depth has been added, the left side is fucking impeccable, could be a top 10 line this year if all are healthy.	The weakest point (Mitchell Schwartz) will be pretty weak comparatively.
D-Line	Heavy investment in developing the Lake Erie Buffet Line with Starks, Shelton, and Cooper.	A few odd-men out in the rotation, need to get Shelton to speed quick.
LB Corps	Strong veteran presence, Mingo getting better.	But if the pass rush does improve, is it time to revamp again?
Secondary	Deep as fuck, young, two strong starters and solid nickel options.	I still wouldn't want to run sets with Haden not on the field; where does Gilbert fit?
Special Teams	We don't have Billy Cundiff anymore.	Our kicker is not Phil Dawson.

Training Camp Battles to Watch

QB - Manziel vs McCown: The obvious answer here. Will Manziel make enough progress to wrestle away the starting job from McCown before we need to go with McCown being forced into high-pressure situations? COULD CONNOR SHAW EMERGE AND DESTROY SOME WORLDS AND SHOCK EVERYONE?!
RB - Johnson vs West vs Crowell: Early line says Crowell will be the starter because he appears the most well rounded; West has a plow-forward play style that might be in better shape with the healthy offensive line; Johnson is a dynamic pass-catching back with elusiveness. I'm with the Duke, and all 3 should get touches, but who knows?
TE - Housler vs Barnidge: This is the closest thing to competition in the receiving corps we'll have due to proven talent ahead at everything else. I think Housler locks it down but both should find playing time.
RT/RG - Greco vs Schwartz vs Erving: How this eventually plays out should be interesting to watch; it's going to come down to whatever two make the most sense opening up on the line. For me, it's Erving at RG and Schwartz at RT, but it all depends.
DE - Bryant vs Starks vs Cooper vs Taylor vs A. Bryant: With Armonty Bryant and Uncle Phil healthy, there could be serious competition for the ends this year; Cooper and Taylor have to fit somewhere, and Armonty played his ass off in limited time in 2014.
CB2 - Tramon Williams vs The field: Can Justin Gilbert step up and take away the CB2 role from the veteran? Can a Ka'Waun Williams jump into the lead role, or even Pierre Desir? Is Charles Gaines capable enough to tap into finesse and take the spot?

Let's Talk Schemes, With JohnnyFire, Who Doesn't Know How Schemes Work For Shit

This was an optional point of the review, but hey, lemme attempt to work it out.
Offensive scheme: In case it wasn't obvious, with the offensive line shoring and the addition of another talented RB, the Browns are going to be working a run-first offense. Everything will be going through the ground game, meaning the interior of the line will be called on to open up big run lanes early. It also means that we're not going to be gunslinging, least of all with McCown in there. The short passing game and smart out-routes will likely be the staples for this offense until we get another weapon in 2016, so I expect Hawkins (and Johnson as an option) to get tons of looks. Long term, it’s also key that we play into what strengths Manziel actually exhibits, and not try to fit a square peg into a round hole here; Manziel's legs and deep-ball awareness can still be tapped into if asked. It's going to be a bit of a mish-mash ground-and-pound short-game offense in 2015, unless Manziel's skill set has expanded far beyond what we think.
Defensive scheme: Jim O'Neill's D shouldn't be changing up too much, only becoming expanded on with more playmakers. O'Neill suggested that although the Browns are currently running a 3-4, the talent they have could open up some 4-3 sets (likely meaning we would see a front 4 of Bryant/TayloShelton/Starks or Cooper, with a 3-rush LB of KrugeDansby/Mingo. That's very intriguing.) I wish I could go more technical into this, but quite honestly, it's not my forte; I just know that Pettine and O'Neill wanted a strong all-around D, and although we need to see what the new additions actually do, on paper, it looks like a strong squad now and moving forward.

Schedule Predictions

The Browns have a tougher schedule than they did in 2014, and with much of the same defense and an offense in transition, they went 7-9. The offense is now in limbo while the defense got better, so...ehhhhhh? I'll aim for as reasonable as I can.
Week 1: @ New York Jets: New York's revamped D is solid, but their offense could still sink them. If the Browns can make their offense falter early, they'll have a chance, but winning week 1 on the road isn't exactly easy. Let's assume the D is up to the challenge for NYJ right off the bat and make this a close defensive effort on both fronts, with Cleveland losing a tough one. Cleveland loses 17-13 (0-1)
Week 2: vs Tennessee Titans: Here's the coming out party for this defense and the first chance to see if this offense is good enough. Tennessee's team is just flatly lacking in overall talent right now, although they do have some playmakers here. The last thing the Browns want is to get spanked by oft-mocked-to-them Mariota. I think they can pull off a motivated home opener win. Cleveland wins 20-14 (1-1)
Week 3: vs Oakland Raiders: Oakland, in my view, had a pretty solid draft, but I'm not sure they've entirely turned the corner, even with the emergence of Derek Carr. I think a strong defensive front and the strong secondary can keep him in check long enough for whoever is slinging the ball to keep it together into a solid but close win. Cleveland wins 24-21 (2-1)
Week 4: @ San Diego Chargers: Unfortunately I can't see Cleveland heading out to the West Coast and dominating a still fairly tough Chargers team. Unless they rattle Rivers hard and fast right off the bat, but that's doubtful honestly. They could keep it competitive though. Cleveland loses 28-17 (2-2)
Week 5: @ Baltimore Ravens: The Browns have not won in Baltimore since 2007, and only 3 times since 1999. That's...bad. And Baltimore is still good enough to keep that trend up I fear after an offensive reload. Cleveland loses 35-20 (2-3)
Week 6: vs Denver Broncos: You have no idea how much I'd love to spank Peyton Manning at home, and I'd imagine this will probably be closer with the Browns getting some attention against the tougher team. But I can't doubt Denver just yet; I do think the downfall for Denver may be on the horizon, but not yet. Cleveland loses 31-21 (2-4)
Week 7: @ St. Louis Rams: Another "Tough D vs so-so Offense" matchup. My hope is by now the offense will have settled in with whoever's at the helm (I'd assume Manziel by this point) and can get the big road win, even though this could be a toss up if Nick Foles and the strong D finally make this St. Louis's "next year" we've been waiting on. Ah, fuck it. Let's call it an upset. Cleveland wins 18-17. (3-4)
Week 8: vs Arizona Cardinals: I have pretty high hopes for Arizona if they stay healthy, and at the mid-point of the season, that's pretty much all it will come down to. This is the start of a tough 3-game swing for Cleveland and if Carson and the D remains upright, I think they dispatch the Browns post haste. Cleveland loses 24-13 (3-5)
Week 9: @ Cincinnati Bengals: ALERT! ALERT! Primetime Andy Dalton Game! Primetime Andy Dalton Game! We probably will actually get blown out as revenge for last season, but fuck it, I have to rip on someone other than my own team at some point in these predictions! Cleveland wins 24-21 (4-5)
Week 10: @ Pittsburgh Steelers: Fucking Steelers with their good drafting and respectable organization and history of winning and Super Bowls. And then they have a solid 2015 draft too. But hey, their RB smokes weed and got caught and got suspended everyone point and laugh, please, my self esteem needs it, HAHAHAHA--we're not winning this game are we? Cleveland loses 30-13 (4-6)
Week 11: Bye
Week 12: vs Baltimore Ravens: Monday Night Football in Cleveland, OH. Reason dictates that this will be the biggest game of Cleveland's season, and coming off the bye and a tough in-division loss to Pittsburgh, I'm going to buck the trend here and say that Cleveland pulls off the upset and wins a key game in primetime in the division, shutting down the revamped offense and Sam the Eagle. Cleveland wins 27-21 (5-6)
Week 13: vs Cincinnati Bengals: Damnit, I wanted two games with Primetime Andy Dalton. If we take the jokes aside, the Bengals are a strong squad that will be in playoff contention, and this late in the season, this will probably be a must-win for them. Cleveland loses 28-14 (5-7)
Week 14: vs San Francisco 49ers: I honestly feel bad for San Francisco at this point. They're probably not going to completely fall off, but coming into a year wish such promise, there has just been so much turnover in that organization this year it's almost mind numbing. I'd hope Cleveland can keep their heads up and take advantage of it. Cleveland wins 31-18 (6-7)
Week 15: @ Seattle Seahawks: ......fuck. Cleveland loses 35-13 (6-8)
Week 16: @ Kansas City Chiefs: Because going from the loudest stadium in the NFL to the second loudest stadium in the NFL is just a thing that happens. Cleveland loses 27-24 (6-9)
Week 17: vs Pittsburgh Steelers: There is nothing more important in any given season than logging a win against the fucking Pittsburgh Steelers. At least until we get over this mental and metaphysical hump that has held the Browns down for so damn long in their own wallowing. After two tough challenges on the road, I think the Browns can pull off one season-ending upset in spite of everything to end the season strong and accomplish two things: match last year's record without an elite QB, and hit .500 in the division. Cleveland wins 17-14 (7-9)

Verdict:

Reasonably, I'd say between 6-10 (drop either the STL or PIT game) and 8-8 (win against SD early?) is pretty solid. Our offense just plainly is not good enough right now. If Cleveland shows up for some big games or takes advantage of their strength on defense early, they might be able to break .500, but I don't see this squad hitting the playoffs in 2015. The lack of a franchise QB limits my optimism for toss ups.

Wrap-Up

I said last year that the most important thing for Cleveland in 2014 was not to make a playoff push or to win "x" amount of games; it was to facilitate a culture change, to get away from the "LOLBROWNS" and the "woe is me" that has permeated the organization since their return from expansion. Many people have tried to make that happen, but stupid moves, or regressions, or giving up too early, or just plainly getting the wrong players at the wrong time, it's all added up to misery. With that said...this is the closest I've seen this team to having a long-term plan in place to get over that hump. Yes, you have some issues on offense, but the offseason, the draft, the move to get more compensatory picks in 2016, the feeling that Pettine and Farmer are locked in, it's a good feeling.
Are the Browns going to light the world on fire in 2015? No. But they don't need to right now. Get that defense up to working speed. Keep the run game and offensive line strong. Don't panic fire Pettine or Farmer because things don't add up to a 10-6 finish. Don't start scrambling around or getting cheeky with your QB if things go crazy. I no longer see this team as rebuilding, but rather finally fucking building; investing heavily in the trenches and crafting a strong defense. There have been growing pains of this regime, but unlike in the Holmgren era, or the Policy era, or the Savage era, it doesn't feel for naught. There is something being established, and if we as fans can have some patience for a change, I think we could see the second half of this decade be very, very fun if the course stays.
...or we'll be LOLBROWNS again. Such is the cycle of Browns fans.
Special thanks to admiralkit, TheFencingCoach, skepticismissurvival, TheVetNoob, everyone over on /Browns, and Dusty Rhodes. We been through some Hard Times, bay-beh.

3 day couples trip (vegan eating)

Our MEGA-REVIEW of this past weekend's Vegas Exchange

As lurkers who’ve benefited from the advice here in /swingers, we thought we’d share some of our own thoughts about the Vegas Exchange, a well-promoted annual hotel takeover.
Plus, we are upvote whores. ;-)
We were a little hesitant going at first, given that our requests on here for reviews or opinions solicited almost zero responses. And while the organizers have advertised the event here and on Facebook, etc., they seem to not respond to questions, which is disappointing.
But TL;DR, it was a real takeover, it was big, it was mostly fun, but the venue they chose this year was terrible and we probably won’t go back as a result.
----- CROWD -----
This event was Thursday daytime to Sunday morning. We found the crowd was a little older the first night (average age probably around 45-60) but the next two nights (they sold single-day options) brought out some younger people. On the last night, there was a healthy number of people from their late 20s to early 40s.
Like many lifestyle events, people were friendly when approached, and more willing to approach you after they’d had a few drinks. ;-) It’s always a more friendly crowd than a vanilla vacation, and this was no exception.
----- PLAYROOMS -----
Okay, we know this is the only paragraph you are actually reading, you dirty fuckers. ;-) There was only one playroom but it was big and quite well done. You had to change into either towels or nothing in an awkwardly well-lit little room outside the playroom before entering. You got a SLS-branded bag to keep your clothes in. We ended up with like four or five of them. They had lube at the entrance (from a sponsor, Swiss Navy — it was actually pretty good stuff).
They had low red lights glowing the place up, and lots of options for either group play or couples on their own with closable curtains (boo!). There was some nice up-tempo music going on. The single beds around the outside of the rooms had sheets, which was awesome, but oddly the group play beds (4-8 mattresses pushed up) were vinyl without sheets. One very nice touch, all the mattresses were on small cots so they were raised up just a little bit. :-)
The volunteer attendants were very quick to reset the bed after you were done — swooping in quietly with fresh sheets or a sanitizing wipedown.
But if you’ve been in big playrooms, this was one of them. Luckily, there wasn’t a lot of loud chatter and laughing, as can sometimes ruin other playrooms, and the only real downside was that the playroom didn’t open until midnight! We’ll say that again — the playroom didn’t open until midnight! (There was an hour in the afternoon but we don’t know if that was really used.)
----- INVITED VIP GUESTS -----
They had invited/paid a number of semi-famous people to participate, do seminars, hang out at the pool, etc. Our two highlights were:
— Dr Jessica Reilly (of Playboy TV’s Swing fame) who did a funny and surprisingly helpful session on oral techniques, then led a smaller group through play in the play room. We chatted with her at a party after and she’s really awesome. (Yes, she has an actual PhD. No, she probably won’t play with you.)
— The Dominatrix of Ditties, who you may have seen on lifestyle cruises and other events. She’s funny as hell and we had a great time getting to know her after her show.
— Some porn stars — there were some porn stars there, including Allie Haze (who was super-sweet and was pretty much ignored at the pool party because people were apparently intimidated by her — we had a good chat with her), a couple of others, some drunk older guy with really bad jokes, and Ron Jeremy because of course Ron Jeremy. He didn’t seem like he was in a very good mood. To be fair, the event didn’t really give them any place to set up or do anything or announce they’d be at a certain place at a certain time. I hope they sold some DVDs or had some fun in the playroom or something.
----- SEMINARS -----
We only went to a couple of the seminars and they were hit and miss. Dr Jess’s seminar was really good. It takes some level of guts to present “how to do oral sex better” to a room full of 500 swingers. The Allie Haze one (“behind the scenes in the porn industry”) was great when she was talking, and unbearable when her buddy (see “drunk older guy with really bad jokes,” above paragraph) would talk. We left early and hung out with her by the pool later for a few minutes.
----- POOL -----
There were actually three pools at this place but only one was really used. It was always packed and there was NO shade (i.e., ZERO) until about 6:30pm. There were two cabana thingies which seemed to be reserved for VIPs, and the only chair areas with umbrellas were camped on from 10am onward.
As for pool entertainment, it was about what you’d expect — a pretty good DJ, and a guy occasionally shouting things into the microphone “Come up! Get up! Yeeeeah! Party people! Yeah baby! Hands in the air! She’s so sexy!!” and so on. They had a few Hedo-style games like “Who has the hottest ass” and so on.
----- ENTERTAINMENT and THEMES PARTIES -----
There were some good parties with an “80s glow” theme and a “dress to impress” theme — basically a big dance floor and some standing tables scattered around. These themes were a little muddled.. there wasn’t really any communication from the organizers about what the themes meant (for instance, the dress-to-impress was listed as “Fire and Ice”) so it made packing tough. And I’m sure many of you in here know that swinger party outfits can be performance art!
But the highlight of our trip was the last night. They moved the party up to the rooftop and had brought in a circle-like group of acrobats and dancers. It wasn’t actually a stop-what-you’re-doing-and-watch show, it was more just something to look at when you were wandering around, but it was beautiful on the roof, in the warmth, with all the sexy people around.
Also, since it was the last night, everyone seemed a bit more keen to finally nail that couple they had their eye on... ;-) More people drunk and way more flirting/kissing. We are not saying this was a bad thing. ;-)
----- TRADE FLOOR -----
There was a pretty good sized trade floor that was open a lot — jewelry, sex toys (we bought a stainless steel prostate massager — gulp!), booths for lifestyle travel companies, a booth for Oasis in Toronto, some booths for the porn starlets (who never went to the booths, apparently)... and even a guy who was selling marijuana-laced lollipops. He wasn’t there after the first night. Coincidentally, I’m sure, that was the night the cops started patrolling. ;-)
----- SAFETY AND SECURITY -----
They really did have their shit together on this front. There were, of course wristbands, but also a small crew of volunteer security people checking up, tossing people out, giving warnings, etc. We didn’t get to hear much of the drama but with the porn stars tweeting out where they were that weekend, apparently they tossed something like about 40 people (read: single guys) out each night.
One of the volunteer security ladies said they caught one couple either selling or giving their wristbands to people on the outside.
Also, said security lady was really hot. Also, if said security lady is reading this, PM us. We have unfinished business with you. ;-)
----- VENUE -----
This year, it was held at the Alexis Park All-Suite hotel, about a 30-min walk off the strip. It was within easier walking distance to a CVS, Subway, a nearby hotel (Rumors), and the Hard Rock casino. Which was a good thing. Because the food at this place was T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E. More on that in a moment.
The venue itself was clean, nice and cool, and seemed to be fairly well cared for. It has a small gift shop with stupid little tourist trinkets, instead of things you, you know, might need.
The Internet was free but spotty. There was one network for inside your room, and another for the public areas. Both would drop out completely if you weren’t using it for more than a few minutes. So don’t count on reliably getting messages, notifications, and the likes unless you manually reconnect the network several times an hour.
----- FOOD -----
They only had one restaurant (it looks like two, but it’s just two different doors with different decor and the same menu). The “chicken quesadilla” came with, literally, no chicken on it and it was a gooey mess of oil, cheese, and tortilla. We were still charged for a “chicken quesadilla.” The appetizer nachos was HUGE and had 7Eleven-style nacho cheese poured on it. Both servers we were served by seemed confused by what was on the menu.
There was no food included with the takeover, except for boxes and boxes of pizza that arrived on the pool deck every night at midnight. The hotel staff kept claiming there was a taco buffet, but we never saw one.
There is no coffee option at this hotel either, other than walking into, essentially, the kitchen wait-staff area and interrupting them. And that coffee was really bad. And there’s nowhere even nearby to get a decent cup.
----- ROOMS -----
The rooms were basic but clean, not at all “run down” as we’d seen on some review boards. The mattresses and pillows were comfortable, though it was a little scant on the bedding options.
There are no rooms in the main building — this resort has about 15 smaller two-storey buildings, so if you are in a building quite far from the main building you’ll be walking a lot (and in 100-degree weather).
This is an all-suites hotel, and each room has a kitchenette, but there are no utensils, no bowls, no plates. All you really get is a microwave and a counter. And a cheap coffee machine.
Worst of all, there was no cold water in our room. At all. All the water that came from the taps was scalding (literally scalding) hot. The best the hotel could offer was to tell us to run all the taps for 15 minutes and flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. (Which I’m sure is a totally sensible thing to do in a desert.) Even so, the water never even got lower than lukewarm.
----- IN SUMMARY -----
So there you go, fellow Reddit pervs, it wasn’t bad. Some of the entertainment was pretty fun, as was most of the crowd. The playrooms were well set up, other than the group beds being vinyl only. The food, though, was terrible and limited, and the rooms really weren’t set up well.
We’ll keep going to lifestyle takeovers, but probably not this one again unless they find a better venue with actual food — and maybe hosted it in a cooler time of year.
So hope that helps people next year who, like us this year, were searching this subreddit for information about the Vegas Exchange.
We are happy to answer any questions you have about it — and if you were there with us, say hi!!! :-)
And PM us if you want our handles on SLS, ITL, Kik, etc.
Especially if you live in Vancouver and you're hot. Just sayin'.

[Table] IamA Porn Icon Ron Jeremy! AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2015-11-13
Link to submission (Has self-text)

Questions	Answers
What's your craziest party story?	On a film set, we did a party scene, the hot light that goes under the legs of the actor for the up and over position, the light got too close and singed his ball hairs. His name was Bobby Astyr, and he did a double somersault with a twist into the pool and saved burning his balls off. Now THAT's funny.
	Link to www.hotmovies.com
I saw a picture of you and Jim Norton running a train on some chick. Can you tell the story or is it too confidential?	Confidential? Jim Norton has told that story on the Opie and Anthony show, on lots of tv appearances, his cable special, and his dvd. So everyone knows about it, and yes, we did a threesome in Las Vegas. Dennis Hof, from the Bunny Ranch, was there too. I was doing doggy while she was giving Jim head. I fucked her extra hard just to fuck with Jim. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting teeth! He hated it.
Does a porn set smell as terrible as people say? Which set smelled the worst?	The one where your mom sat. This is untrue, I have been in over 2,000 adult films, about 100 mainstream films, and 54 music videos - and they all smell the same. Some used studios, others used homes. No smells. Unless I had refried beans and prune danish for lunch, with a jalapeno pepper. THEN look out!
Hi Ron! How many of the videos you've starred in have you actually watched after? Was it weird initially to see yourself in one?	Great question, in the beginning, I watched everything. Later, just the sex, then later, just the acting. Now, only if it's really interesting.
Does watching porn change after you've been in so many?	Robin Williams and Sam Kinison said to me, that watching porn live while you're there makes it less erotic because you know how tough it can be. (I shot a film at Sam's house once, and Robin owned it)
What was your least favorite experience in the porn industry?	It might sound corny, but I've had great experiences. Some scenes can be more difficult than others, depends on how comfortable you are - like in Europe we would shoot in castles on slabs of concrete, not too comfortable, but I could handle it.
	I.e. Link to www.hotmovies.com
Hey Ron, how did you get so famous? Generally I don't care or want to see the guy in a porno.	The mainstream, much more than the porn. If I didnt do films like Boondocks Saints or Oragazmo, or a hit rap single (which went gold), I would just be another Randy West.
ber the first mattress actress you've performed with?	Very much so - Samantha Fox, the brunette, not the singer. Broke my screen cherry in the film Tigresses and Other Man Eaters. Link to www.hotmovies.com
Can we expect anymore random cameos or appearances from you in tv/movies any time soon?	Yeah, tons. Lots of them! I just did a film with Alek Skarlatos, one of the 3 marines who saved a Paris subway. Also starring William Shatner and Danny Trejo.
	Link to ronjeremy.com
Hi Ron , Are any of those online ads with you in them true about how to make my penis the size of a baseball bat ?	The website sexpillguru.com actually checks out the clinical trials of the various penis pills. it's accurate, it makes you larger in the soft stage, so you're dangling bigger. It gives you that morning wood any time of day. I'm referring to whatever the website says.
Hi Ron! What's your favorite memory from hanging out with Sublime?	Providing the girls, including Tammy Ann, to Bradley Knolls bachelor party and us both getting lapdances side-by-side. He was a great guy, very talented. I helped produce his first music video and he mentioned me in the song Caress Me Down.
What made you decide to go into the rum business?	I was approached by 2 fellows from Finland who told me they needed a famous Ron, because Ron is Rum in spanish. Ron Reagan died, Ronald McDonald makes hamburgers, Ron Howard makes movies, Enron makes crooks - that left me. I agreed.
If there's a Ron Jeremy of today, who is it? And why is it James Deen?	James Deen is nice Jewish boy like me, we get along great. His mainstream work helped him get more famous, as it worked for me. I also think 2 other guys worth mentioning are Evan Stone and Tommy Gunn. Great guys!
What do you enjoy more than sex?	Your mom.
Edit: fix.	A good back massage, a great rock and roll show, like last night seeing Gwar at the Electric Factory in Philadelphia, and good comedy - like our buddy Ari Shaffir at Helium Comedy club last night. Life gets no better.
Was there any point during your porn career that you thought "Fuck it, I'm going back to teaching"?	It's funny you ask this, when any porn actor has trouble in a scene they always say "That did it!" "I'm quitting, I'm embarassed, I'm flaccid." I have done this too. But, then you promise the director a better scene next time, and you get over it.
If you had to fist fight one celebrity who would it be?	Danny Devito, I have a great chance of winning. I'll just sneeze and win. And by the way, if you want to see me beat up the iceman, Chuck Liddell, go to youtube, then punch in ron jeremy, chuck liddell. I kick his ass.
Do you have any anecdotes involving Gregory Dark and you that you can share with us?	A great one. he did a mainstream film, he put me and taylor wayne in it, and at that time, an unknown actor - zach galifianakis, who became super famous in the Hangover films. This film was called Little Fish, Strange Pond.
What compelled you to parody Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball video?	I got booked, I thought it was funny and it got millions of hits. Billy Ray Cyrus and Miley Cyrus, and the director Terry Richardson, all liked the video alot. And besides, I look just like Miley!
#Fuck-Marry-Kill.	Fuck: Hillary Clinton Marry: Hillary Clinton Kill: Nobody - I don't want jail.
Eleanor Roosevelt, Hillary Clinton, Margaret Thatcher?	By the way, I got to shake hands and chat with Bill Clinton - no lie! National Enquirer told the story 2 years ago.
What kind of work did you do on Boogie Nights?	I brought the director to all of my sets, had lots of dialogue with the director, PT Anderson. I even had a small part in the film that got cut. I also helped cast the film.
What's the story behind your brief cameo in Ghostbusters? Was it just a chance situation, or was it planned?	I was booked as an extra. Dan Aykroyd and the director (who had worked with Marilyn Chambers) elevated me to a silent bit player. So, it was booked in advance. I got slimed.
Two questions, how does someone get started in porn living on the east coast and what do you think is the ideal penis size?	To get into porn, find a pretty girl and start out as a couple. Single guys won't get work, we already have too many.
	Any size works, most girls say. It's not the boat, but the motion of the ocean.
Hey Ron. Do you ever drink your signature Ron de Jeremy? I've had a bottle for a few years but haven't opened it as it's better as a convo price than anything.	Im not a big drinker, but I've enjoyed both the spiced and dark rum. They are delicious, we got amazing reviews in all media, and believe it or not, Donald Trump has my rum in his casino in Panama where it used to be made.
What's your weirdest experience on a porn set?	Majorca, Spain. All the big European stars were on this film, on a boat, including Rocco, Ciccoloina, everyone but me got seasick. Now THAT is a strange experience.
How has society's view of porn changed since you first started in the industry?	Much more acceptable, because people can bring it home - they didn't like the theaters, but video, dvd, interactive CD, etc., helped it to be a more private medium. Then we BOOMED.
What's your favorite book?	Anything by Kurt Vonnegut. I also love biographies, I recently read Tony Curtis' and Carrier Fisher - both gave me beautiful inscriptions. I know them.
Are there any pornstars that refused to have sex with you?	It could happen. I wouldn't last 34 years if they refused, but once in a while, a girl might want a younger boy, flat stomach, muscular, like me before the buffet!
How big is your penis exactly? Oh come on, I think we all want to know the answer to this question.	2 inches...from the floor. Actual answer, 9 3/4. (Note: some novelty stores like the Hustler boutique sell my mold, created by Pipedream Productions - they own my dick.)
As someone who has a large number of partners. I kind of got into swing of getting what I need from someone and moving on. Did you also find it hard to settle down? Any advice on learning to settle down with one person instead of habitual one night stands?	Monogamy is very. very tough. I have a swinger mentality as do many porn stars. You can be emotionally monogamous, and that works, but the genitalia can travel as long as you keep it as a team and discover new physiques.
Hey Ron, do you have someone in mind that gave you the best orgasm ever? If so, who?	Tabitha Stevens, she's nice and tight. We get along...and your mom. Link to www.hotmovies.com

Last updated: 2015-11-13 19:03 UTC | Next update: 2015-11-13 19:13 UTC
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